IKEA Rage!

Sunday morning IKEA trip was nearly the end of me. Towards the end of our journey through the store, pushed along by the mass of men, women and prams, we realised that we hadn't written down the shelf details to find the flatpacked items near the store exit. Back we went, like salmon swimming upstream, trying to relocate the items we wanted to purchase. Diligently, we wrote down the aisle and shelf details and returned to the flatpack area, only to find that a couple of the items did not appear where they should have been. Eventually, we found a sales assistant, who explained to us that some of the items were actually available in a different part of the store...back where we had come from. Back we went, this time like salmon swimming upstream while pushing a large trolley with flatpacked parts of incomplete furniture on it. We find the area in which the additional part of the furniture is supposed to be stored, but guess what...there's none there. After finding another elusive sales assistant, we were informed that they were out of stock of that particular part. Arghhhhh! Back to the flat pack area to get our next item, which of course is not where it's supposed to be. Instead there is a small notice "Please obtain this item from the main furniture aisle". So back I go yet again upstream. Eventually I find the damn stools, but they are locked to the wall. Another sales assistant tries to avoid me, but eventually I corner her and ask her to release one of the stools for me. She says she has to make a phone call first. I stand close by, to make sure she doesn't run away. She has a lengthy conversation on the phone (how hard can this be?) and eventually hangs up to explain to me that she is not 'authorised' to release display stools to customers, but that there are 80 of them in the flat pack area. I beg to differ, explaining that there were no stools on the shelf, but a little sign saying to get the stools from the main furniture aisle. She then explains that the sign was referring to the main furniture aisle in the flat pack area. ARGHHHHHH! I head back to Ange, who is not answering my frantic calls on her mobile. When I find her she says that her phone has no service. Apparently IKEA is a mobile phone service black hole, just to make the whole experience a little more challenging. We go back to the flat pack area to look for stools. Can't find them anywhere. But I see a flash of yellow out of the corner of my eye and pounce on the unsuspecting sales assistant and demand to be taken to the stools. He looks panicked but then directs me to an enormous pile of stools just near the checkouts. ARGHHHHHHH!

Finally we escaped from the IKEA vortex. They should offer free counselling at the exits. Honestly, next time anyone suggests a trip to IKEA, I am going to recommend rolling in some broken glass instead - honestly, it will be less painful.